10 Ways to Finding Hope inside Loneliness
In a past life, you delighted in a quiet house. But this isn’t that life anymore.
This is, in fact, a new season, in which every ounce of normal no longer exists. This is life now, and the stillness can feel unbearable.
There’s no bypassing the loneliness we feel when our lives shift unexpectedly, and no benefit of stuffing it down. But it’s possible to minimize the suffering that comes with newfound space.
If your partner’s no longer sharing the same living space as you (and you don’t have any kids around distracting you), there are several ideas that you can try to move through your feelings of loneliness without getting stuck in them. Today, I’m sharing 10 strategies that I’ve offered to many women I’ve mentored.
1. Surround yourself with the people you trust. When we feel lonely, we’re likely to withdraw even further, but this doesn’t serve our highest good. When you’re isolated and vulnerable, it’s easy to get stuck in a pattern of self-criticism. Surround yourself with people that offer compassion and perspective, even if it’s just 1-2 close friends or a therapist.
2. Be kind to yourself. When our lives are turned upside down, gentleness is the name of the game. Talk to yourself the same way you’d talk to a friend who is struggling. Use words and phrases that remind you of your value and worth. Record these affirmations on your phone for when you need a reminder. Be gentle with yourself.
3. Tap into your nurturer. Taking care of something -- a child, garden, plant or pet -- can ease feelings of loneliness. If you don’t have a pet, adopting a breed that fits into your lifestyle could be the best way to mark this new season with hope.
4. Find a hobby that involves others. Join hot yoga. Salsa classes. Book Club. Online cooking courses. The options are endless. Connecting with others while you explore new parts of yourself will build joy.
5. Give. Getting out of the house can be easier if you believe it’s for a good reason. Giving your time and attention to a worthy cause might be all the motivation you need to spend time with others in a positive environment. It doesn’t have to be complicated- try raking leaves for your elderly neighbor or picking up a few groceries for your mom.
6. Call an old friend. Remember the past with an old friend. Between Facebook and the internet in general, this is easier than ever. An old friend would love to hear from you, and catching up and sharing fun memories will build joy for both of you.
7. Watch something funny on TV. All negative emotions are harder to experience while you’re laughing. Turn on Netflix, and re-watch the first season of Friends or another old favorite. Bonus points if you snuggle up to a new (or old) pet while you watch.
8. Explore someplace new. You don’t need an airplane to go on a little adventure. Find a nearby neighborhood or town you’ve never visited. Pick a fun restaurant for lunch. Take a drive and see where you end up.
9. Clean the house. Yes, really. Clear space = clear mind. If cleaning the entire house is overwhelming, start with a drawer or a small space while you listen to your favorite music. You’ll feel more control over your life and it will keep your mind occupied for a few hours.
10. Practice gratitude. Gratitude and grief can live in the same space. Grab your pen to paper and start writing things down that make you feel grateful. Add to the list each day and spend a little time reviewing your list. Look at your list whenever you’re feeling down to remind yourself of all the support you have.
Try one item from the list today. If you loved it, great! Add it to your toolbox. If not, try another. Whether you’re spending time with others, or trying new hobbies on your own, you’re bound to discover things about yourself that you’ve long forgotten.
Light and love,
Aria