Making A Big Decision in the Middle of a Hot Mess
You’re not sure what to do.
Nothing feels aligned.
Everything feels off.
And you’re worried.
Scared of making the wrong decision.
Sit down. Breathe in. Breathe out.
If you can’t decide which direction to go, I’ve got a new approach for you to try.
It turns out that it’s more effective to let our unconscious minds do more of the work.
Today, I’m sharing the secret to making complex decisions when you feel confused, icky and overwhelmed.
Your Unconscious Works to Solve Dilemmas
Check out the research. David Creswell, a neuroscientist at Carnegie Mellon University, recently did a study on the power of the unconscious. In this study, people made better decisions after they did a distracting task for a few minutes.
Understand the process. Brain scans show that we can still work on a question even when we take a break to take out the garbage or make a pot of coffee.
Take it easy. Pushing yourself too hard often backfires. When an issue is too much for your conscious mind, relax and let the answer come to you. Trust yourself.
Schedule brief distractions. One of the most hopeful things about Creswell’s study was that breaks of a few minutes or less really work. Even if you don’t have time to sleep on it, you can still make headway by taking a short break.
7 Ways to Use Distractions to Make Space for an Answer
1. Plan your course of action. There’s more than one direction you can take. Explore your options. Gather information about your choices and then wait for your strongest preferences to gel.
2. Reinvigorate yourself. It’s easy to get overwhelmed going over the same “Should I do this?” or “Should I do that?” replay in your head. Pause for some relief, like watching a funny show, baking your favorite sweet or calling a friend.
3. Everything you need is within you. Questioning and doubting your ability to make wise choices doesn’t serve your highest good. You are an intelligent, capable and competent decision maker. Drop that old pattern of not trusting yourself. When you start to stress for not having it all figured out, stop and think about a time when the answer came to you and led you to make an important decision. Start reminding yourself that the answer is within you and it will reveal itself.
4. Sharpen your coping skills. If the thoughts in your head are all over the place, go have a strong shot of tequila, I mean expresso. It will give you time to come up with an alternative plan that may get you better results.
5. Listen to your intuition. Figure out why you stray from the feeling that says you should “___________.” (Send the email. File the paperwork. List the house. Tell the kids. Make the call, etc.) The answer may come to you while you’re washing the dishes.
6. Make investments in yourself. If anxiety about choosing the right path is clouding your vision, practice one of my daily vitamins until you feel calmer. You can sign up for my free 10-day Daily Dose of Nourishment video series by clicking here. The more grounded + centered you are, the clearer you become.
Set intentions. Brainstorm about the positive goals you have as it relates to this aspect of your life. What do you want right now? How do you want to feel? Then, go about your morning routine as usual and see what priorities come to the surface.
Today, give yourself some distractions. Put your unconscious to work for you to make choices that are aligned with who you are and where you want to go next. And, give yourself some grace. The answer will present itself to you at exactly the right time. It always does.
Light and love,
Aria
P.S. What if there is no such thing as making the wrong decision? What if there isn’t a wrong path? What if you can’t choose wrong? Whatever direction you decide to head will start your path. Heading “this way” will bring you somewhere different than “that way,” but either way will bring you on a journey and you will end at a destination. What if along the way some absolutely delightful people, places and circumstances crossed your path? That happens. All the time.